idealism

Sound of Lounge

When I first found these albums a few years ago, I could not classify this kind of music in any known genre. I simply call them ‘lounge’. They were different from the ambient/chillout I was so used to. Lounge is a mix of various catchy yet relaxing tunes consisting of modern acid jazz, light electronica and old skool funk. Most of these tunes are not new. Some have been around before I knew how to appreciate them. I even had a good lounge compilation called Lo.Fi in my possession over the past years yet I didn’t realize I had it. Only then did I realize Thievery Corporation had been around for a while and I had heard them before.

	Title: A Piece of My Heart Artist: Jazzamor Released: Oct 5, 2004
Title: A Post Modern Life Artist: Funkservice International Released: 2004
	Title: Best of Costes Artist: Stéphane Pompougnac Released: Oct 26, 2004
Title: Hotel Costes V.5 Artist: Stéphane Pompougnac Released: Oct 16, 2002
	Title: Mezzanine De L’alcazar Vol. 3 Artist: Various Released: May 20, 2003
Title: Mezzanine De L’alcazar Vol. 2 Artist: Various Released: March 26, 2002
	Title: Riot On An Empty Street Artist: Kings of Convenience Released: July 27, 2004

Contradiction of Pre-Mature Chivary

It was an age when I first explored interaction with the opposite gender beyond home and school. And it was the first time interaction was without obligation. These girls weren’t daughters of my parents’ friends, nor were they children of some neighbors whom my aunt was asked to baby-sit. They were friends of friends and were equally curious about those of my gender. These were church friends of my friend, to be precise. Shy as I’ve been genetically prophesized, I tend to observe and listen more than I spoke.

At this pre-puberty age, conversations in groups with girls mostly include debates on which sex is better and which is stupid. Each gender side had no more knowledge of the opposite than the other do, which were mainly from interactions with their own siblings (adults like parents and aunties/uncles do not count as they were men/women). Each were trying to outwit the other, yet silently they yearned to learn more about each other. Being a boy, I listened more than the girls spoke. I listened to the emphases from both sides.

The girls always outwitted the boys. The girls seemed to have this unprecedented ability to remember every weak statements made and they’d always corner the boys’ words up to their own mouth. The boys, on the other hand, were babbering from half-truth half fantasy sprouting randomly from their skulls. Being a boy who listened from both sides, I couldn’t help but agree that the boys should have listened more than they talked.

“So what do you think, Allen?” asked one of the girls. And before I could answer, I realized it wasn’t a question. “Boys are all alike. You’d only talk and never listen. Hadn’t your mom thought you that you’d learn more when you listen before you…” It was just another planned question directed to invoke another debate.

So that’s how I became a seemingly quiet person. My mom had always told me when I was young how I can look so deep in my thoughts. At this pre-puberty age none of these girls could see what my mom saw. I was thinking and analyzing deeper than the girls thought, which explained my quiet moments in conversations. When I progressed to BGRs a few years later, my short-lived episodes with each kind of girls allowed me more opportunities to observe how they outwitted guys so easily. I realized that most did so by quoting from books and magazines they read. While boys are burying themselves in comic books and magazines full of naked women, these young girls were doing their homework reading on relationships and boys’ mentality. So they DO know how the boys think, from pre-reading. It’s no wonder they’re always quick to pick what catches the boys’ tongues.

One girlfriend I was with for over 4 years was spending all that 4 years trying to psych me into practicing chivalries on her. Sure it was a good thing to start behaving like a gentleman since chivalries had always been more popular, but at the back of my mind I had the feeling that chivalries can be quite a bite on a guy’s self-ego from time to time. It wasn’t until I was so brainwashed and so used to being the gentleman that I started to question how chivalries works with feminism. My girlfriend, just like any young girls of my time, were starting to proclaim themselves feminists after witnessing adult women in their families getting jilted and hurt by their men.

“One condition for us to be together,” she told me once when we were strolling downtown, ” is that you will never stop me from working. I want to be given the freedom to develop myself into who I want to be. I want to be successful and not depend on any man.” Such strong words from an adolescence girl not understanding the implications she just made. I let her carry on with her self-proclamation, and being the boy who listened more than girls spoke, I was listening attentively that I had to be nudged in the ribs to open a door for her.

As I grew older, the boys start to get to serious stuffs like alcohol and cars, though they knew they weren’t of age yet. With the wallet size growing with the boys’ appetite for men’s lifestyle, the girls spoke less and began to see their boys becoming manlike. Realizing that boys were starting to be more generous when they rabble less and doll up more, the girls decided to play along with the guys’ growing ego. Still the boy who listened more than the girls spoke, I was ever accused of being still a boy and not yet a man. With my allowance that hadn’t grown a bit for the past 3-4 years, I had difficulty with understanding what makes a man in the eyes of such girls. My then girlfriend was not very different from the general sense of girls who want men more than boys. Starting to don short skirts and hot pants, I noticed her elation from wolf whistles even when I was next to her.

“You should at least show more confidence and speak up. I would love it more if you’d argued more with me when we quarrel, rather than just keep quiet,” and the lecture led on to an even longer moment of silence on my part, which made her even more agitated. Funny how she could come to this after speaking of how I’ve been such a gentleman and such a good listener, yet a good listener who waits for his speaker to complete her sentence can turn into a meek frog who dared not croak in her eyes.

So what do girls want? It had been over a decade since I’d questioned these. Though I do not see such girlish behavior in my child-like wife, I still do find such contradictions in more matured versions. Women of my age who were girls at that time do still talk about how they believe very strongly in one thing but expects the opposite to happen to them. Being a boy who listens more than girls spoke, I still have difficulties understanding these girls.

This does not apply to ALL girls, just THESE girls I used to date.

Shufflesome

It’s here. The killer-suits for my shuffle have finally arrived after SeraShuff has been running around naked for the past 2 weeks (yeah like a bare-bottom baby). Like I mentioned in my previous posts, my iPod fever was partially caused by the customizability with accessories for these brother gadgets. From cases to slings, and now with slick-free stickers that not only act as a protective layer, they also make them more pleasing to the eyes too.

Shufflesome.com is a German site run by Alex Schneider. This shipment includes an order of two different designs: c/o pop VJ and c/o pop Festival. Both are designed specially to celebrate the 2005 c/o pop: festival for electronic pop culture in Cologne, Germany. Featuring among the programs is the VJ Festival.

c/o pop 2004 proved beyond a doubt that live VJ sets at art and music events would become an integral part of the festival in future years. And so the video jockey has been incorporated into the c/o pop experience, not merely as an attractive accessory to DJ or live band performances, but as an equal protagonist in a comprehensive overall concept.

In 2004, 24 events featuring more than 30 VJs showed how effective the interplay of the optical and the acoustic can be. That`s why the VJ festival, featuring the VJ pool, the VJ arena, the VJ symposium and the »Sehpark«, will form an essential part of c/o pop again this year. The art of the VJ is also at the forefront of the Deutschlandreise club night.

Far from just trying to repeat the winning format of 2004, c/o pop wants to build on last year`s success and go further. The project`s geographical catchment area has been widened, for instance, to draw on the happening Eastern European VJ scene for the first time. Exciting stuff!

Too bad I can’t be there in Cologne in time for the festival. Anyway back to the Shufflesome stickers. I have selected to dress SeraShuff with c/o VJ first. Once out of the wraper, I noticed that the surface of the stickers are glossy, not unlike most other stickers (like those I’d used on my skateboard when young, or those on my boombox) but of precise quality. These glossy vinyl layers are supposed to be teflon coated, meaning they are resistent to scratch.

Done. The stickers are on. Isn’t it obvious enough from these pics, that my favorite colors are black and white? It has always been my fantasy to be living in a b&w world. That’s why I’d loved those silent movies or those arty farty type of modern films shot in b&w. Especially for the theme of this VJ outfit, which shows a grafiti styled silhouette prints of audio jacks that resembles that from my Monster Cables. It bring out the primal form of art from familiar shapes and silhouettes. Very urban. The kind of art that triggers questions like “What’s this supposed to be?” and I can enjoy it before it’s been figured out. My kinda art.

My baby is dressed. With the coincidental choice of dressing for the day, my shirt happens to match the colors (or lack of it) with the background. It must be my subconscious telling me to dress both myself and SeraShuff up for some man-to-machine connection.

Blog Cloned

Poor Minishorts just had some of her blogs copied blatantly by a copycat into her own friendster blog. Not just one article stolen, not two, not three, but FOUR articles copied word for word.

Sad but true, that our copycat not only copy the words, but even the pictures are leeched from Minishorts’ own domain. Finally, the copycat did the weirdest act of stupidity by copying only half of the original.

Latest Update: Our copycat has removed her blog. Case closed.

Hi, I’m Horny…

A friend whom I’ve shown this site to yesterday suggested that I could post something about my little known nickname I got from our company president a few years back. I was taken aback and thought it was really embarrassing and wasn’t really funny at first. But today while thinking back how it happened, I decided that such jokes are meant to be remembered as classics hence I should pen it down as a blog post.

It all happened during the first time our president, Mr. P, being a fatherly figure to most of us working close to him, decided to bring a group of us out for a drink after work. Since it was the first time out with the biggest shot of the office for most of us, we weren’t sure if the drinks we order would clash with Mr. P’s mood for wine. In the end most of us simply order what we are most comfortable with. I ordered for myself a bottle of Guiness Stout.

TOK! TOK! TOK! What I heard and saw next was somebody knocking his finger on the wooden table to demonstrate how hard that finger sounded. This was done with all eyes in my direction and chuckles followed. Darn, was I embarrassed when I realized what that meant. Especially in front of people I just started working with for not too long.

“Man, you sure know where you ‘stand’ in here,” commented Mr. P and there were more chuckles.

“This guy has been so quiet in the office I wouldn’t have noticed him until he picked up his Guiness today. I didn’t know you were a Stout man, Allen. Now let me show you how you should introduce yourself when in a party. After so-and-so introduced themselves “Hi. I’m so-and-so…”, you’d should be holding a bottle of Guiness just like this one and say…

Hi! I’m Horny

wait for reaction

... and that’s not my name.”

Laughter filled the air around the table. My face and ears turned really red, and it wasn’t due to the alcohol. I became the famous Mr. Horny overnight. And subsequently whenever we went out for drinks after hours, I never ordered Guiness in front of Mr. P again.

SMS Frenzy

... In sickness or health, in SMS or not…

Glenn Ong and the Flying Dutchman were biatching away over the morning radio show about how SMS-ing has become a social irritation of the decade. Since the Short Messaging System was invented for communication using a cell phone when verbal conversation isn’t convenient, it has become a stronger secondary (may even be primary for some) use of a cell phone. While I had experienced exceeding my 800 SMS quota for my mobile plan before, I know how addictive SMS-ing can get.

... When I took her (Glenn’s GF) from Lido, down to the underpass, then to CK Tangs, up to in front of Marriot (Hotel)... all the time her other hand holding to the phone SMS-ing and I feel like I’m holding on to a ***” – Glenn Ong

Today, the SMS phenomenon occurs in conjunction with the net messenger syndrome (NMS). Some seasoned users of net messenger systems (AOL, MSN, Yahoo! Msgr, ICQ etc.) may find themselves perceiving SMS as a mobile version of their desktop counterparts. Similarly, seasoned users of SMS will find themselves familiarized with net messengers very easily.

The SMS phenomenon, as described by Glenn and FlyingD, was that constant non-stop SMS-ing while in the company of a friend is a rude behavior. I can’t agree less! How do you like it, when you are talking to someone discussing about your party plans, and your listening friend keeps getting SMS messages and interrupts your excitement with minute-long intervals reading and replying these messages? Isn’t this the same kind of body language conveyed as listening to a walkman when someone is talking to you?

Though I have relatively higher tolerance level for such anti-social behaviors, it doesn’t mean I can tolerate active multi-tasking when in conversations. It is as equally irritating as talking to someone who doesn’t have eye contact with you. Such basic manners is critical when portraying how you perceive another person when talking to them, and such are the same manners often missed these days…

Oops… Hold on… Got SMS Keying reply on cell phone keypads in frenzy

Alma Mater

Just received a newsletter from my alma mater Northeastern University today that they have recently been promoted in their ranking for “Best National University” in the States. I still remember how we used to be ranked far beyond public recognition then. The only ‘WOW!’ we used to hear when mentioning the name was when we were mistaken for ‘Northwestern University’, which was rather often. Today, we can rightfully compare with Boston University. And I must add that I am proud to be from NU. I had somewhat grown up during my 4 academic years there.

GO HUSKIES, GO!!!

The 2006 edition of U.S. News & World Report rankings has been released, and I am very pleased to announce that Northeastern University has moved up five spots from last year to a rank of 115. This ranking puts Northeastern, for the second year in a row, in the top-tier of the category “Best National Universities.” Since 2001 we have moved from a ranking of 150 to 142 to 127 to 120 to this year’s 115. Also, for the fourth consecutive year in the specialty rankings, Northeastern has been recognized as one of the top schools in the nation for co-ops/internships.

Post-Grey Saturday

After my episodes of unexplained boredom over weekends, I conclude that my short bursts of despair were mainly due to the lack of feelings of accomplishment. When I started this little project with this site, I started feeling better. I would call this condition of mine the ‘Compulsive Achievement Behavior’. I need to feel that I have achieved something, no matter how little the significance, for the day. My fiddling with HTML and digital photo editing resulting to this site saved my day.

A friend suggested after reading my saturday blog that perhaps my mind has overrated the intensity of my weekends bouts of despair. It was suggested that everyone would experience what is commonly known as ‘post-holiday-syndrome’, and I was probably experiencing one after my anniversary. I considered but ruled out the possibility. I had actually started feeling like this even before Sunsun returned. Her return helped, but only for a few days. And I noticed that I’m happier when I spent time working on little visual/audial projects and finishes it. Though I’m still wondering if my CAB condition is only a causal effect of my spiritual emptiness, or perhaps it is the direct cause of it.

Then just this morning, while driving to work and listening to Sunsun telling me about her plan for the day and it dawned to me that this is just what I’ve been missing – a daily plan. A daily plan, even a mental one, helps one look forward the day and feel accomplished. It’s not that I had not tried before, but I’ve gradually come to discard my habit of making daily plans. Somewhere in my change of career role with this company I work in today, I have started getting more responsibilities and somehow in my daily uphold of professional integrity with work I have lost the priority for my artistic self. This is probably what one means when he says that he has lost himself in his work.

Then again, it is a similar case with work. Since I was reassigned to support the company integration project, I realized that there is no definite short-term goal I can get the sense of accomplishment from. The objectives are usually either long-term or unidentifiable, being a one time integration project. When I work, I need to be able to envision what the outcome of my efforts would turn out, before I can make the next move. I cannot typically work through everyday’s work blindly. I only enjoy my job when I know what I am doing and hence know what to look forward to, even in steps.

Perhaps I might simply be in the wrong line…

New Blog Site

This new self-titled blog site was created over the weekends. The old blog site at blogspot.com was getting a little too slow for my liking, especially with the sound files, so I decided to create one out of my personal domain. It is about time to get this domain into some use.

This site will be a good chance for extra HTML exploration and room for creativity. If time forbids, I might even learn some flash and post them here (that’s right… only IF i get the time). My old blogs are currently in the process of being migrated here.

Grey Saturday

It began as a regular Saturday, when I could wake up later than weekdays and had the luxury to enjoy coffee and cigarettes first time in the morning. Sunsun and I then left the car at the shop for servicing and decided to take a walk at Botanical Garden (which is about 5 mins walk away). The weather wasn’t too warm so the briss walk was pleasant. It had been a while since I had visited that part of Singapore so my experience was as new as Sunsun’s. We were having a great time enjoying the greens and the whole walking session became 2 hours long. We got back to the shop before they closed and went home. We were scheduled to pick my sister Annie up for her vocal class later that afternoon.

Then the moodswing came. My sky became grey for no particular reason. I tried to soothe my nerve with SeraShuffle, but it could only help that much by deafening my ears from the world. I would have to snap the earphones off when someone talks to me. Over the next few hours, my mind gradually became really lazy. I just couldn’t be bothered to listen and register any word anyone said, and I often responded with just a shrug or a nod.

After Annie finished with her class, we headed to Great World City as planned for a bit of shopping and dinner. When we got there, I separated myself from Sunsun and Annie, telling them I wanted to check out some CDs and will look for them once I’m done. Knowing that they will spend quite a while at clothing stores, I decided to indulge myself with what I’d like to look instead. Before long, I got bored with the CDs I picked to try (which seldom happen in the past!). Giving up on the CDs selction, I tried roaming other stores. I got really bored. There were so many stores in the massive building but not one can hold my attention for more than 5 minutes. Sunsun kept asking if I were alright, which I constantly reply with affirmation, but unknowingly my facial expression just kept telling her I’m not. Somehow I knew I wasn’t bored coz there isn’t anything to see, but I’m just too bored to see anything I used to like. I even got bored with music, which I had mentioned I breathe like air. That was totally unimaginable!

And this, was also the start of another domino-cum-rollercoaster ride in my mind. I’m getting more bothered not understanding how I can get bored with what I like, and the more I get bothered I found it harder to engage in what I like. See how it was happening? It’s just like worrying on not being able to sleep and ending up not being able to sleep coz of worrying too much. It just rolls itself into the rocky ends of the rollercoaster.

When it came to dinner, I found myself hungry but not having much appetite. When I feel like this, I tend to eat more, which I did. I eat more when I don’t know what I felt like eating, and by not recognizing what my taste bud fancy I don’t get satisfied with what I eat. I ended up eating more than usual but almost didn’t taste anything. What more puzzling is that we had sushi and there was a wider variety of tastes in a sushi meal than anything else. And yet I didn’t really taste much!

Sunsun suggested that I might need some professional help on this, after I tried to explain what’s going on. She got kind of upset that I wasn’t enjoying my day but understands after assuring her it’s nothing to do with her. We tried to figure out the cause of all these and found that my job could be a major player in my moodswing. Not just a major player, but a superstar home-run swinger! I think I’m just been pushing myself at work, doing what I don’t understand enough to know if I’m enjoying what I do. I believe I am not enjoying my job, coz if I am I wouldn’t have been this lost not understand what I do. Deep causal thoughts huh? I thought so too.

This is just one of those post-horrigible-weekdays weekends blues syndrome. I’m bringing my work stress home, which my personaly principle had forbidden initally. I’m thinking too much but I just couldn’t help it. I just ended up with lots of rollercoaster rides for the day. Is there any professional out there? Can anyone tell me if this is a clinical condition?