Black Friday
December 9th, 2005 -- Posted in rants | No Comments »Today’s not a good day. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to drag the misery off work but I just wasn’t happy at work. Got into office an hour earlier to make an important inquiry call to Australia (they being 2 hours… no… 3 hours ahead of us) before I head down to the BIGGER company’s office an MRT stop away for a whole-day meeting. Whole day at this meeting means I had limited time to handle the other key submission I had to send by end of day…
... To cut the story short, I am upset because as much as I’m trying to do my best, people just aren’t coorperating to meet the deadline. Furthermore, my manager just wasn’t around to support me when in such plight. (Didn’t expect to get much support… likely to get demoralizing comments anyway… so forget it.) Funny how they are expecting a lowly paid financial analyst to assume authority control over managers… I could only keep my fingers crossed that these managers do coorporate. What a bunch of worts!
Anyway, I just wasn’t happy that I had to leave the office after submitting that important document to HQ (all my submissions are important to me, for sake of my professional integrity) feeling that my submission was far behind my expectations. I actually took close to an hour making Sunsun waiting downstairs my office while I tried to make last minute judgement for damange control… and even after I was done and gone, still couldn’t stop feeling uncomfy… bothered…
Someone tell me. Where have I gone wrong? I thought it might be just my personality. I’m a perfectionist who is too compromising for my own good professionally. I can’t let imperfections go easily yet I can’t be firm enough to make sure others do their part right and on time.
Indigestion now… groanz…
Bro… That’s why I emphasized that you have to enjoy what you do to do well. I can’t say I’m a specialist at my current task (which is different from my previous ones at this company) and I definitely am not feeling that upbeat with it. When I was not prepared for this short-term role mentally, yet thrown into it when most projects had already started and I had no clue what’d already happened… No matter how much I tried to catch up, it only spelt more confusions and more plunges of self-confidence in my work.
Nevertheless, I’m still persistent… Not a natural quiter. I’m getting tired of all these corporate shits after 3 years but I’d just get myself prepared for unjustifiable performance reviews and start over at my new role.
(Then again, I’m expecting more politics and red-taping… Sigh…)
