idealism

Run (And I Dunnno Why I Should)

January 13th, 2006 -- Posted in rants | 3 Comments »

I can’t take it anymore. The words of this song keep ringing in my head, even during working hours.

But why? What’s the point of it? I have no idea.

I can only guess…

I’ll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You’ve been the only thing that’s right
In all I’ve done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we’ll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up…

Slower slower
We don’t have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We’re bound to be afraid
Even if it’s just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Poetically, the lyrics is a complete chaos, or a symbol of chaos. Not social chaos, but emotional chaos. (Well, I’m still the sentimental/emotional aquarian for a guy my age. What to do?) When one doesn’t know what he/she wants, that’s commonly due to ‘emotional chaos’. When one can’t make up his/her mind, blame it on ‘emotional chaos’. What would one do when contemplation is faced? What can one do when decision is hard to make? What is the easiest way out of confusion?

What else? Just “Run”. That’s exactly what the title of this song is. Run.

Is running away from the problem the easiest way out? Yes it is, but it is not the best way. Easiest and fastest way to rid of the thorn in the finger but not the best way to stop the bleeding. Saying goodbye after a making a mess is not the way to make it all go away. You’d merely delay having to face it and get done with it. So what’s the ultimate thing we should fear? Avoiding of our fears and run from them. That’s what we should fear. Coz running away will only cover the path for now.

What we run from will eventually catch up with us…

——————————

But was that the point of this song? No, I think it’s more personal than that.

The message the story seems to be telling is:

I’ve fallen in love with you, when I shouldn’t.
We’ve created all these mess for ourselves, when we shouldn’t.
Now we are in deep shit and what can we do?
We can only run away… from each other… in tears.
We have to say goodbye.
We have to forget each other.
But I will remember you… always.

This message in my perspective… is totally irrelevant. I have not fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t. I have fallen in love with someone and I have married her. And we are not running away from each other. Neither are we in any shit. And lastly, we are not going to say goodbye… at least not yet, till death do us part.

So why the subconscious attachement to this song? Past memories? None applicable. Unconscious wish to get myself into such shit? Not likely. There is no reason whatsoever why I love this song. No relevance to my life. Cannot relate to anything. So why?

I still can’t figure out.

So I think I’d just leave it be. I just like it because it is poetic of a sad story. I love the tune when the words are mumbled. Nothing more.

I miss holding Sunsun’s hand. It’s just been 3 days since I held her hand. But I just do, when I was travelling to work yesterday. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I just miss her.