Knows & The Unknown
April 8th, 2006 -- Posted in deep | 3 Comments »At age 31… wait… how old am I this year? 1974… Oh! I’m already 32. Yay~
N’mind the age. What I meant to say was that despite being at the age when the society is ready for my breakthrough… breakthrough of being an achiever, a fellow social contributor, a father etc… But I am none. Not yet, anyway.
I watched my sisters grow up and my dad grow old, yet I still see myself wondering.
What? Another ‘Am-I-Gonna-Grow-Up?’ topic?
I still wonder about what else I do not yet know. Unlike others who governs their confidence from what knowledge they hold, in their work or their experiences, and rule the world they live in from there. Conceited. Achieved. The ‘YAY-I’ve-Done-It’ sensations.
And here I am, still in the ‘What-Else-Is-There?’ stage. Yes, sure I am developing a good career being a financial analyst but I’m not satisfied. I know there is more of what I have yet to find out and perhaps run into another experience I can define as a chapter of life. I am still hungry and curious.
I think I am just addicted to this sensation… a sensation of the curious and the oblivious. That same sensation we all get when we first discovered about sex yet still do not know what it means. That same sensation when we got first pay check, and our minds run wild about the millions of things we could do with the first dollars.
That age of innocence. I just can’t break out of this…
At age 32, I still fantasize. Few things I still fantasizes about when I get the span of quiet moments…
- I don’t have to speak in this world. Though I have speech ability, I do not need words to communicate with the world. Like a character in an MTV, the life and the story moves in graphical body langauge.
- I have no need to be on guard against others. There is no devion or negative intentions in this world. No need to re-interpret actions. No Pumpkin in Memoirs of a Geisha
- I can break away from family obligations (to Dad and sisters) to own and run a resort on an island somewhere in the middle of the South Pacific Isles. Better still if I can bring them along with me.
- Teleportation is a norm so there is no more need for motor vehicle on the roads. No more pollution to the air we breathe.
Ok, not all are fantasy. Some are within reach, like the possibility of teleportation. Others are better off staying as fantasy. Once we know it, it will lose that mystery of the unknown…
