A Teenage Friendship
April 16th, 2006 -- Posted in memories | 2 Comments »“Those were the days.”
Heard too much of it but do we actually realize what those words mean when we think about who we are today? There are friends we keep happy memories with. Some we are left only with bitterness. But there are those we share some moments that changed our lives and how we view this tricky thing called ‘life’ which eventually mould us into who we are today.
Let me give an illustration.
I used to have the closest friend back in secondary school. Let’s call him J-man. (I did call him J-man.)
Those were the days before computers were common in the average households. J-man and I hung out for skateboarding, wuxia comics (e.g. 少林小子, 龙虎门, 天下, 如来神掌), checking out girls (mostly ah莲 ah花 and other wannabes) and listened to Iron Maiden and Metallica. Those were the happy moments and we became close like brothers.
Things only started to change when he gotten involved with the local 369 trait gang (yes, those were also the days they were still so common and idolized by kids) and started drifting away. With his early years training in taekwando, he became a fighter and within months, he became a leader. Though we still saw each other in school, we went to different classes and only hung out sometimes for kopi and ciggies after school (or sometimes during school hours).
J-man told me he had never killed anyone yet, but had gotten some kids rushed to the hospital. There were even times when we were just walking in AMK central and he suddenly had to dash off. “Go away and pretend you dunno me,” he nudged me and disappeared. Seconds later, some skinny kids came after him with sticks.
That was at the end of secondary three.
It was too much for me. I started thinking about my future, and I really did not want to end up dead and shatter my parents’ heart at such an early age. I had already made some cracks when I ruined my academic records for the year. So I definitely did not want to destroy my chance for GCE O’Levels.
I stopped calling. I quit smoking. I even stopped hanging out on Saturday afternoon in town.
But J still called once in a while. He called because he needed someone to talk to. He even cried sometimes. Slowly, he mentioned he needed out of the gang. I could not ignore him. He was, afterall, still a brother.
Then one day, J called and asked to speak to my mom, who already knew him as a family friend and also told of his unkindly ways. He needed a refuge for a month to hide. He finally quit the gang. Traditionally known for loyalty, such gangs will never let anyone quit. There is usually some form of punishment involved. His own brothers were given instruction to seek him out. They knew where he lived, and they knew where his relatives (which is not many) lived. I was the only choice he had as we had not hung out for a good long while.
So he did. He stayed at our place for a month, during which he did not leave the house. It was the month during mid year school holidays. For the whole month, the only thing he could do at my house was to study. For the entire month, he avoided public places and was constantly on the look out just in case an ex-brother ambushed from no where. He lived his longest month in fear.
A smart kid, but it was just a pity he wasted over a year neglecting his studies. He almost gotten himself into a retainment but decided after he flunked his GCE O’Levels that he could not return to studies. He started taking odd jobs while I entered into JC. Then he went to La Salle Fashion for a fashion merchandiser course. After national service, I went to University and he got married. When I went abroad, we lost contact.
I did try to contact him once and got him during one of my summer holidays back home, but did not manage to meet him. Today, the old phone numbers I had of him do not work anymore. Mine have all changed. The last time I heard about him, he was magazine salesperson and even started a printer cartridge recycling business.
Today, I have no idea.
