Personality Disfunction
July 21st, 2006 -- Posted in deep | 3 Comments »A conversation went something like this today…
Sunsun: If there is anything I’d like to improve about myself, I’d try to change blahblah*. You leh?**
Me: I’d want to be more conversational. I want to talk more. To speak my mind more so others will understand me better.
Sunsun: Thinks for a sec That’s not really something you can change. That’s your personality. You’re just someone who’s quiet. Nothing much you can do about that.
Me: Thinks to myself (Not necessarily. One can learn to speak up more.) Replies to Sunsun Yeah…* Censored for discretion. Content unrelated.
** Added to dramatize conversation. Sunsun, of course, still doesn’t use this slang.
This usually happens in a normal day conversation. I noticed that I think to myself more than speaking my thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just lazy to think or there’s really something disfunctional with my personality. I just can’t put together words to correctly convey my thoughts. It’s actually such a chore. Sometimes when I speak in the language my mind thinks, I get stares at my face blankly and smiley, almost showing an array of “?” above the heads.
“Chim…”
Would you still listen to my repeat? Probably, for another round or two. Perhaps patience for another round of rephrase before the final nehmind smile.
“It’s ok…”
These words would teach me that any further attempt to help my audience understand what I’m trying to say…
Nevermind…
(See? I’ve given up trying already…)
